Exit Calypsan
by TheGoldenHum
Summary: Jack wakes up as a hero in a distant land. He has only a few questions: Where is he? How did he get there? And, what the hell is wearing?
1. The Beginning

CHAPTER ONE: The Beginning

**CHAPTER ONE: The Beginning**

Jack O'Neill walked into the kitchen of his house. He had a killer headache. Opening the cabinet, he looked around for something that would ease his pounding head. That's when he saw it. The white box with the beautiful, pink, miracle pills inside. He grabbed the Benadryl and took a couple.

He went back into the living room and sat on the couch. He was watching one of his Ti-Voed hockey games that he had missed due to off-world activity. He looked at his watch. He had about two hours before his team would be coming over.

Team movie night. It was a once a week thing that one of the members of the team would host at their place. This time...it was Jack's turn. He thought about swapping with Daniel, who had next week, but then he wouldn't hear the end of it for skipping out. Somewhere in the midst of his game, he fell asleep.

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Jack stirred. He looked up to find himself standing in front of a castle.

"What the hell?" he asked. Something wasn't right about his voice. He looked down at himself. "I'm a kid?!" Now he was pissed. He hated dreaming things like this, even in his dreams.

Suddenly, the drawbridge came down and a white horse flew by, forcing him to jump out of the way.

"This is, by far, the weirdest dream that I have _ever_ had," he told himself, as he got up and began to dust himself off. The next thing he knew, there was a man, wearing black armor, sitting on a black horse in front of him. The evil looking man, stared him down. Jack drew a sword from behind him, which he now suddenly had, and also the shield that he was now, randomly, holding.

"What the-?" he asked but the man shot something out of his hand and knocked him down.

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Jack swatted at something flying around his head and rolled over on his other side.

"Jack! Wake up!" A voice said. Jack just rolled deeper into his bed. "Come on! Can the fate of the planet seriously depend on such a lazy guy?!" Finally Jack was aroused enough to sit up. His room smelt different. It smelt like cedar, or was it maple?

"You finally woke up! I'm Thor." The little guy in front of him said. "I was asked to be your partner. Nice to meet you!"

"My what?!" He didn't like the sound of that. "What _are_ you?!" He asked, noticing that he wasn't looking at another human being.

"Let's get going. We're going to be late!" The little guy said.

"Hey! Wait a minute!" He forgot what he was going to say when he looked around the room. This definitely wasn't his room.

"Let's go!" Thor insisted and headed quickly out of the only door in sight. Jack followed him.

He stopped abruptly when he got outside.

"I'm in a tree house!" he said. This was all really weird for him. Suddenly, he saw Janet Frasier running up to him. There was another of—whatever Thor was—following her as well.

"Hi Jack!" she said, waving him down. Jack climbed down the ladder attached to what he considered the porch. "Wow! You finally got one, too! That's great! Now you're a true Kokiri, Jack!"

"A true what?!" He looked at himself and noticed he was wearing something completely different. "I'm in a dress?!" Okay, he was pissed all over again.

"It's not a dress, Jack, it's a tunic!" Thor insisted.

"No, I'm pretty sure it's a dress," he noticed he was wearing a weird hat, also. "And a floppy hat." Shaking off the news, he looked around to notice that they were in some form of forest colony. There were tree houses, exactly like his, everywhere! Thor said something to Janet, but Jack was too busy trying to figure out what was going on to listen.

"Is that right?! Jack! The Great Hammond Tree has summoned you!" She sounded excited, but he was obviously clueless. "It's such an honor to talk to the Great Hammond Tree! Get going! I'll be waiting here when you get back!" She said, hurrying him along.

Jack walked away, following Thor. He was utterly confused. One minute he was lying on his couch and the next minute he was waking up in Neverland! That had to be some powerful stuff he was taking!

Thor led him to the edge of the colony. He tried to leave the colony but some punk wouldn't let him through.

"Hey you! Mr.-No-Asgard. What's your business with the Great Hammond Tree?" the punk said. "Without an Asgard, you're not even a real man!" He saw Thor peek out from behind Jack. "What?! You actually got one!"

"Yep," Jack said. "Apparently, I'm also summoned by the _Great Hammond Tree_," he said, in a sarcastic tone of voice. "And, supposedly, I have to go this way, and you're preventing me from doing that." That was his way of asking this punk to move. Any politeness that he would have received, jumped off of the tallest building when he tried to be tough shit with Jack.

"What?! The Great Hammond Tree actually summoned you?!" There was pure shock in his tone of voice.

"Yep," Jack said again.

"Why would he summon the likes of you and not the great Feretti?!" The punk said. Jack grinned. "This isn't funny!" He paused again. This was obviously, really disturbing for him. "It's not fair. You're not even fully equipped yet! You need both a sword and a shield!"

"You don't have your equipment ready," Jack pointed out.

"What?! You're right, I don't have my equipment ready, but if you want to pass through here and help the Great Hammond Tree, like you say, then you should at least be equipped with a sword and a shield!"

Jack rolled his eyes. It was all that he could do to keep from punching his daylights out. He hadn't signed on for any of this! Nothing! All he wanted was a little allergy relief!!!

"Sheesh!" Jack said, walking away.

Thor led him up some kind of hill and to a log passage way type of thing. Jack just shot Thor a look. Thor motioned for him to crawl through.

"You're kidding," Jack said. This was _messed up_!!!

"You have to get the Kokiri Sword, you know!" Thor simply said. "And hurry up! The Great Hammond Tree has summoned you!"

Jack reluctantly crawled through the log tunnel. It was a tight fit, but he was able to get through it. At least he was still young...he was _young_! He was at least fifteen years younger! He cursed as he crawled out of the tunnel.

"Great," he said. "A maze." He barely dodged the rolling boulder, which seemed to be rolling in a pattern. Jack decided to follow it and wound up standing in front of a treasure chest.

"Well, open it!" Thor insisted.

"Are you serious?" Jack couldn't believe what he was hearing. He rolled his eyes and opened the chest. Inside of it was a sword. He picked it up. It was the same sword from his dream.

"Woo hoo!" Thor said, bouncing up and down. "You got the Kokiri Sword!" Jack fastened the sheath in place. He made his way out of the maze area and back into the colony.

"Come on!" Thor said, heading toward a tree house with a red roof. Jack reluctantly followed. They went inside.

Jack looked around the neat, little shop. He had to admit that this place was pretty cool. He found a stack of shields. The price tag said "40 Rupees".

"What's a rupee?" He asked Thor. Thor simply looked at him like he was dumb.

"Currency," he said, bluntly.

"Well, that sucks, because I don't have any." Jack turned to leave, but Thor stopped him.

"Yes, you do!" He held up a wad of something similar to cash.

"There's ninety-nine rupees here. The red ones are twenty, the blue ones are five, and the green ones are one."

"Right," Jack said as he took two of the red ones and handed the rest back to Thor. He grabbed a shield and took it to the counter to pay for it. They exited the shop. "Now what?"

"Now, we go see the Great Hammond Tree!"

"Right," he said. He put the shield on his back, much like the sword. They headed towards Feretti.

"Hold it!" Feretti said. "I already told you. You have to have both a sword and shield." He looked at Jack, and noticed that he actually did have them. "Well, even with all that stuff, a wimp is still a wimp."

Jack walked up to Feretti and punched him in the face, knocking him flat on his butt. Feretti quickly stood up and moved out of the way. _That'll teach him_, Jack thought to himself.

At the end of the path, Jack saw a giant tree, with the face of General Hammond.

"Are you kidding?" He said to himself as Thor ran up to the Great Hammond Tree, saying, "Great Hammond Tree, I'm back!"

"Oh, Thor! You have returned!" He responded. Jack nearly fell down. The tree was _talking!_ "Jack, welcome." Now, it was talking to him! "Listen carefully, to what I am about to tell you. I know your sleep the last few nights has been restless and full of nightmares. As the servants of evil gain strength, a vile climate pervades the land and causes nightmares to those who are sensitive to it. Jack, the time has come to test your courage. I have been cursed and I need you to break the curse with your wisdom and courage. If you have the courage enough to undertake this task, then enter Jack, and you too, Thor." Suddenly, a large opening appeared underneath the mouth of the tree.

"Whoa! Wait, just a minute!" Jack said. "This isn't right! I'm talking to a tree who wants me to break a curse in it?! I don't think so!" He looked up and started shouting at the sky. "Alright guys! Whichever one of you hooked me up to this simulator thingy can get me out now. I'm giving you ten seconds, then when I get out I'm gonna beat the crap out of you! One...two..."

"Jack, this is serious! We need to help the Great Hammond Tree!" Thor insisted. Jack threw his hands up in the air, in surrender, and closed is eyes as he walked into the tree.


	2. Inside The Great Hammond Tree

CHAPTER TWO: Inside the Great Hammond Tree

**CHAPTER TWO: Inside the Great Hammond Tree**

Jack looked around the inside of the Great Hammond Tree. This was definitely no normal tree. There were ladders, and spiderwebs, and man eating plants located on the base floor. Jack decided to quickly, yet quietly, make his way to the ladder nearest to him. He climbed up it.

He moved around the next level. He came to another treasure chest, but Thor didn't seem interested. He was fascinated with the texture of the walls.

"Hey Jack! Look at this wall! Vines are growing all over it, which gives it a rough surface. Maybe you can climb it." Jack looked up to see how high it went. He saw three giant, skull looking spiders.

"Or maybe not," Jack said, as he walked to the treasure chest. He opened it. When he opened it, he found a map. "No weapon?" He was getting ticked, but at least he now knew where he was going...that is if he could figure out how to read this dumb thing. He handed it to Thor, who told him how. Jack followed the map to a door.

"There's a door?!"

"Of course," Thor said, like it was no big deal that there was a door to another room inside of a tree. Jack opened the door and went into the next room.

The door closed and barred automatically behind him. He turned a sharp turn to see it.

"Jack! Look out!" Thor said as something popped up out of the ground and shot up at him. He quickly raised his shield which deflected the nut and hit the creature back.

The next thing he knew, the doors unbarred. Jack just stood there.

"You should go in the one straight ahead," Thor said, pointing to the door in front of them.

"I'm thinking that I should turn around and leave."

"No! You have to help the Great Hammond Tree, Jack! We have to stop the evil in the forest!"

"That's exactly it! I don't know what the hell is going on! I randomly woke up to you being not so quite yourself, and suddenly everyone's telling me I'm some kind of potpourri and that I have to break some kind of curse and save the day?! I can barely even think straight right now from the Benadryl in my—that's it! I'm freaking stoned!" He said. It was all starting to make sense now. He had to be high because there is no way that he would have come up with something like this on his own. It was the only thing that made sense. If no one was messing with him, he HAD to be high!

He decided to play along. "Alright, fine. We'll do it your way." He headed to the door in front of him and entered.

In the next room, there was a large floating platform in the middle of the room. Jack looked around for some other way to cross to the other side, but found none. He had no idea what was holding the platform in mid-air, but he was sure that Sam could tell him. He looked around and realized for the first time that his team wasn't with him. Where the heck was his team?!

He sighed and got a running start so he could jump to the platform. When he got on it, it began to shake violently so he went ahead and jumped to the next form of solid ground. When he landed safely, he looked around.

"Jack," Thor said. "Here's another chest."

"That's another thing!" He complained. "What's with all the chests?! The least they could do is give me a locker or something!" He opened it in frustration. He lifted out a slingshot. "Are you kidding?! No guns?! Not even a zat? Where's the knife, at least?"

"You got the slingshot! That's awesome, Jack!" Thor said. Jack rolled his eyes. This guy was _way_ too optimistic.

Jack looked around the room. He didn't see a way out. He looked up and noticed a giant spiderweb, much like the ones he'd already seen. He also noticed that there was a ladder holding it was holding in place. He, instinctively, pulled out his sling shot and fired. He missed the point that he saw, so he tried again. This time he got it.

Jack hopped down and ran across the room. He climbed up the ladder and exited.

"That was awesome Jack!" Thor said.

"Yeah, whatever," Jack was obviously irritated. This was so dumb. Why was he here? He made his way over to the vines that Thor was so excited about.

"Why don't you shoot those things with your slingshot?" Thor suggested. Jack did it, reluctantly. When he had killed all three of the giant spiders, he climbed up the vines and onto another level.

"Just freaking great!" He said, dusting himself off. He walked around before coming to another door. Thor was freaking out about this door, too. This was way too weird for him. He was seriously going to kill whoever made him go through this stupid scenario.

He entered through the door. The doors barred behind him, yet again. He sighed deeply and drew his sword. Nothing was coming at him from any direction, so he placed it back in the sheath.

"Now what?"

"Try standing on that thing!" Thor said, pointing to a button like thing sticking out of the floor.

"You stand on it," he began to argue.

"I'm not the hero, Jack, you are. You are the one the Great Hammond Tree entrusted to break the curse."

"You're my sidekick. You do it. I don't want to die if any unexpected trap falls from the roof."

"I'm far too light," Thor argued. Jack grit his teeth and walked over. He stood on the button. Suddenly three platforms rose from the ground. He made his way over to the other side.

_Great, another treasure chest_, he thought to himself. He opened it.

"You found a compass!!" Thor said, once again, over dramatically.

"Okay, this could be of some use. So, now we have a map and a compass. Where do we go next?" They made their way back to the door, only to find it still barred. Jack shot Thor a questioning look. Thor simply shrugged. Then he caught sight of an unlit torch.

"Hey look at this!" He said. "Maybe if you light it, the door will open."

Jack, without saying anything, took out one of his _deku sticks_ and caught it on fire. He lit the torch and sure enough, they were able to go through the door. He made it back into the main room.

"Now what?"

"Maybe if we jump off of here, that web in the center of the room will break."

"You want me to kill myself?!" That was it. Jack was royally pissed now.

"You won't. Didn't you notice the water underneath?"

"For all you know it could only be two feet deep!"

"And for all you know, it could be ten feet deep. I say try it!" Thor insisted.

"Why should I trust your gut?"

"I haven't been wrong, yet," Thor pointed out. Jack took an irritated breath and headed to the edge. Suddenly an even larger spider fell, knocking Jack on his butt. He quickly pulled out his slingshot and shot it a couple of times, killing it. He glared at Thor, who responded with a sympathetic look.

Jack walked to the edge. His stomach was almost in his mouth. He closed his eyes and jumped off, breaking the web. He landed in the water.

Luckily, it wasn't two feet deep. He came up and flung the water from his face, noticing that his dorky green hat was still on.

"I told you!" Thor said.

"Can it!" Jack snapped, splashing him with water. He swam around until he found some hard ground underneath the water. He climbed up on it and climbed up on some higher ground.

When he got on the higher ground, he saw another unlit torch and a button. This time the torch was golden, like the one that was already lit in the previous room.

"Okay, okay, okay," he sighed, before Thor could say anything. He jumped on the button again. This time the unlit torch lit itself. "Now what?" He asked looking around.

"I don't know."

"What do you mean, you don't know?" Jack asked irritated. "You've known exactly what to do up to this point, you have to know!"

"I can make a suggestion," Thor said.

"Then make it," he said between gritted teeth.

"You see that web over there?" Thor asked, pointing directly across from them.

"Yeah."

"Maybe if you took a Deku Stick, lit it on fire, took it over there and lit the web on fire, you could get through the door that's right behind it."

"I'm gonna kill you," Jack said, charging at him.

"What did I do?" Thor asked, flying out of his reach.

"I _knew_ that you knew what to do! Who are you and what do you want from me?"

"I'm Thor and I want to help you! We need to get a move on it so we can break the curse on the Great Hammond Tree!" Jack pulled out his slingshot and shot at Thor. "You're wasting Deku Seeds!" Thor said, dodging the seed.

"We're in a damn tree! I can get more!"

"Just try what I said, Jack. It might work."

"Of course, it'll work! It always works!" Jack got out a Deku Stick and did exactly what Thor suggested. Sure enough, Thor was right.

When he entered the room, there was an annoying plant shooting things at him again! He did exactly what he did the first time.

"I-I-I'm Jacek. Please forgive me. If you spare me I'll teach you something cool," the shrub looked up to see Jack. "Oh it's you again!"

"Tell me what's cool," Jack said, holding out his sword. Jacek gulped.

"You'll never beat the others up ahead unless you punish them in the proper order."

"What's the order?"

"Two-Three-One. Twenty three is number one!" He mumbled something about being a traitor as he hopped back to his little spot in the ground. This time the bars didn't go up. Jack looked around.

"Maybe if you shoot that eye with above that door, it will open," Thor offered.

"When you know the solution, stop saying "maybe". It pisses me off," Jack said as he shot the eye. Once again, Thor was right.

Jack entered another room. Thor opened his mouth to speak, but Jack spoke up first.

"Let me figure this one out!" He said in one breath. Thor backed off.

"I'll bet there are some interesting things under the water," Thor said. Jack shot him a look. "Sorry."

Jack hopped into the water and found another button. He pressed it, then came up for air. The water level had dropped. He climbed back on to solid land and hopped into the random, floating patch of land. He ducked when he went under the spinning bar, which happened to be spiked. He hopped off the floating patch, when he reached the other side.

This time there was a box. The box was leaned up against a bit of the wall. Jack shot Thor a smug look. He was determined to figure this room out for his own ego's sake.

When Jack made it to the box another spider dropped down.

"Holy crap!" He said, jumping backwards. His heart was pounding. He pulled out his slingshot and killed the spider. Then he pulled the box to a certain point and climbed up onto it. After getting onto the box, he then proceeded to climb onto another spot. There was a door waiting for him.

"Told you, I could do it," He shot at Thor.

"I never said you couldn't, Jack. We need to get a move on it if we're going to break the curse."

"Right," Jack said, getting back down to business. He entered the door.


	3. Inside The Great Hammond Tree part 2

**CHAPTER THREE: INSIDE THE GREAT HAMMOND TREE—PT. 2**

"_Holy crap!" He said, jumping backwards. His heart was pounding. He pulled out his slingshot and killed the spider. Then he pulled the box to a certain point and climbed up onto it. After getting onto the box, he then proceeded to climb onto another spot. There was a door waiting for him._

"_Told you, I could do it," He shot at Thor. _

"_I never said you couldn't, Jack. We need to get a move on it if we're going to break the curse."_

"_Right," Jack said, getting back down to business. He entered the door._

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"Great," He said. There were a couple of torches lit, but the room was still pretty dark. "So, I'm thinking that the first thing we do is light a couple more torches and lighten this place up."

He walked a little further into the room, when a giant plant, like the ones in the main room, tried to attack him. He decided to practice a little hand to hand combat with his sword. It was tough, but he eventually killed the plant.

"Good job, Jack!" Thor said.

"Clam it!" Jack retorted, as he lit the two unlit torches. As usual, it opened a door, and they made their way through it.

Jack walked a little ways, from the door, when Thor screamed at him.

"Watch out Jack!" Jack jumped backwards as another giant spider dropped in front of him. Once again he killed the bug and made his way into the rest of the room.

Suddenly three eggs dropped from the ceiling and cracked in front of him. Three baby Reetou, with one Cyclops eye, came at him. He fought them with his sword for a bit before he finally killed all three of them. He shot Thor an angry look.

"Well, I didn't know they were there!" He defended himself. Jack noticed a little passage way behind a web.

"If I go through that, I'm going to have to crawl, won't I?" Jack sighed. Thor, to save himself from being hit, simply nodded.

Jack sighed again as he lit another stick on fire and burned the web. He put the stick out, as he had been doing, to save what was left of it.

At the end of the little tunnel was another web in the floor.

"Deja Vu," he said when he saw it. He looked around the room a little more, without moving from where he was standing. "Have we been here before?" he asked.

"Yes," Thor said, in the same tone as him. "We have, Jack."

"Okay, Obi-Wan, why are we back here?"

"I don't know."

"Any ideas?" He pressed.

"Nope."

"Make one up!"

"Well, if we push that block into the water, and we light this web on fire, I'll bet we end up in-"

"the water," they finished at the same time. "Worth a shot?"

"You didn't die before," Thor pointed out.

"Right."

Jack did what Thor suggested. He pushed the box into the water. It landed on a bit of the ground that he had previously found in the water. He ran over to the other side, lit another stick on fire, made his way back and burned the web. Jack screamed as he fell down into the pit below. He was apparently too far on the web to climb down through the vines.

Thor laughed at him when he followed Jack down.

"It's not funny," Jack said, swimming to land.

"Sure it was," Thor said. The looked up to see what looked three shrubs, like Jacek.

"I'm guessing this is the spot," Jack said. Thor nodded. "What was that order again?"

"You don't remember?"

"No, do you?"

"No." Jack rolled his eyes.

"That's just great, Thor!"

"Don't blame me! You're the one Jacek told."

"The hero doesn't have to remember this stuff! It's the sidekick's job!" They were both officially freaking out.

"Well, what do you want me to do about it?" Thor asked.

"Jacek said some number. What was it?" Jack asked himself. He found a small rock and began writing in the dirt.

"It wasn't one-two-three, Jack," Thor pointed out.

"Right," he wiped the dirt away and started writing again.

"I don't think that it was three-two-one, either."

"Do you realize how may different combinations these numbers could go in?"

"Six," Thor said.

"Twenty-three," Jack said.

"No, I'm pretty sure there are only six," Thor started, but Jack cut him off.

"No, I remember him saying something about twenty three."

They both looked at each other, and in unison said, "Twenty-three is number one!"

Jack prepared his shield and sword and went to defeat the Deku Shrubs. This time it was a lot easier to do than in the past. He knew what to expect this time.

Once he had them defeated, he went to talk to the last Deku Shrub.

"How did you know our secret?" It shrieked, obviously disturbed, "How irritating! It's so annoying that I'm going to reveal the secret of Queen Ghoma to you!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, get to the point," Jack said, hurrying him along.

"In order to administer the coup de grace to Queen Ghoma, strike her with your sword while she's stunned," It said. Jack heard it say "Oh. Queenie, I'm so sorry," as it went back into it's little hole. The doors unbarred.

This time it was different. Jack knew that he was in for something bigger than before. His heart raced. He felt light headed and sweaty. The back of his neck and his ears grew hot. He was officially nervous.

"You ready, Jack?" Thor pushed him.

"Give me a minute," he said. Man, he could really use a P-90 right now. He took a deep breath and entered the chamber.

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The chamber was dark but he could hear something crawling around. Suddenly he caught on to a red eye. A giant Reetou fell from the ceiling. He guessed this was Queen Ghoma. Jack immediately started throwing Deku Nuts at her. She stopped moving. He remembered what the little shrub said. He attacked with his sword.

After a few swings she got up and ran up the wall and onto the ceiling. She laid three eggs, like the ones that had fallen before. This time Jack ran up and destroyed them before they could hatch. The "queen" came back down and they went through the same routine two more times. The third time she climbed up the wall, Jack got an idea. When she got on the ceiling, he shot her in the eye with his slingshot. This time she fell down stunned and he continued to slice her with his sword.

Eventually he defeated her. He dropped to his knees in relief as Thor danced around. He then he noticed a blue light shining from the floor. Thor led the way to it.

"Go ahead, Jack!" He said excitedly.

"No way! You first." Thor did as instructed. When nothing happened, Jack followed. Suddenly they were transported out of the the Great Hammond Tree and they were back in the forest, facing him.

"Well done, Jack..." The Great Hammond Tree said. "Thou hast verily demonstrated thy courage..."

"I have no idea what you just said," Jack replied.

"He basically said you did well," Thor whispered.

"I knew that you would be able to carry out my wishes..." the talking tree continued "Now, I have yet more to tell ye, wouldst thou listen?"

"I'm sure I don't have a choice, so talk away, Great Talking Tree," Jack said. He sat down on the grass, sipping water from his canteen.

"Listen carefully, a wicked man of the desert cast this dreadful curse upon me. This evil man ceaselessly uses his vile, sorcerous powers in his search for the Sacred Realm that is connected to Hyrule. For it is in that Sacred Realm that one will find the divine relic, the Triforce, which contains the essence of the gods..."

"Oh yay, more false gods," Jack muttered to himself, as the talking tree continued to talk.

Jack accidentally zoned out while the Great Hammond Tree told him about the goddesses.

"Blah blah blah. What does that all have to do with me?" Jack asked. This was getting so old. He was ready to wake up at any moment.

"You must never allow the desert man in black armor to lay his hands upon the Triforce. You must never allow that man to enter the Sacred Realm of legend," The tree sighed. "That evil man, who cast the curse upon me, sapped my power--"

Jack started smirking, trying to hide his laughter. The tree and Thor just stared at him.

"Sap. Sapped," he continued trying not to laugh. Finally he caught on and straightened up immediately. "Right. No pun intended. My bad."

The tree continued. "Because of that curse my end is nigh. Though you broke the curse, I was doomed before you started."

"So you're telling me that I went through _all of that for nothing?!_" He was ticked now.

"I have been able to tell you of these important matters. This is Hyrule's final hope. Jack, go now to Hyrule Castle. There you will surely meet the Princess of Destiny. Take this stone with you." Jack was given a gorgeous emerald. _Man, I should totally give this to Sam for her birthday, _he thought. But the tree kept talking. "This is what that man wanted so much that he cursed me."

"Wow! You got the Kokiri Emerald!" Thor said, excitedly to Jack. "This is the Spiritual Stone of the Forest. The Great Hammond Tree entrusted you with it! That's awesome, Jack!"

"Sure," Jack said, still thinking that it would make a great gift for Sam's upcoming birthday.

"The future depends upon you, Jack. You are courageous. Thor, help Jack carry out this task. Good-bye," he whispered.

"Good-bye, Great Hammond Tree," Thor said. They stood there in silence for a moment.

"Come on, Thor," Jack said, slowly. "We have to see a princess." He couldn't believe that he said it, but this was actually convincing and since he was dreaming, he may as well enjoy it."

They made their way through the path again. Once again, Feretti was blocking their way. Jack rolled his eyes.

"Hey Jack!! What did you do?!"

"I broke a curse, you little-" he caught himself before he could finish.

"Did the Great Hammond Tree...ya know...die?" Jack nodded his head. "How could you do something like that?! It's all your fault!!" Feretti stormed away.

"You'd think he would have learned something considering that I obviously broke his nose," Jack said, making reference to the bandage on Feretti's nose.

"No kidding," Thor said. Jack grinned. He was starting to rub off on him.

"So, now, I guess we're heading out here." He looked at Thor, who simply nodded. "Right. Let's go back to my place and get some things before we go."

"Like what?"

"Bedding, a tent, food, a couple more canteens, matches..."

"Right. Do you really expect me to carry all of that stuff?"

"Yep. You're my side kick. Besides I have to carry the sword and shield, and I'm the one who has to do all of the fighting."

"Fine," Thor muttered.

They went to Jack's house. He stood outside the tree, by the ladder, tapping his foot.

"Liar," he muttered.

"What?"

"Forget it," he said, climbing the ladder. He went into the house and got some things and headed out of the village.

Jack started to run across the bridge, which didn't look very sturdy, a voice stopped him.

"Oh, so you're leaving..." he turned around to see Janet standing on the edge. He slowly walked back to her. "I knew that you would leave the forest someday, Jack..."

"You lied to me. You were NOT waiting for me when I got back." He paused. "Why would you think I would leave?"

"Because you are different from me and my friends. But that's okay, because we'll be friends forever...won't we?" Jack didn't know what to say. This chick was obviously emotional.

"Uh...sure..." he said. Thor kicked him for that response. He kicked him back, knocking him on his butt. "I mean, yeah we will."

"I want you to have this ocarina. Please take good care of it." Jack took the Ocarina and looked at it.

"Thanks," he said.

"When you play my ocarina, I hope that you will think of me and come back to the forest to visit," she said, hope in her eyes.

"Sure," he said. He gave her a hug and walked away.


	4. Hyrule Field

**Chapter Four: Hyrule Field**

Jack and Thor exited the forest. They looked over the land that seemed to stretch on forever.

"So," Jack said. "Now what?"

"We go see the Princess of Destiny," Thor said bluntly.

"Right. Does this _Princess of Destiny_ have a name?"

"I'm sure she does, but unfortunately, I don't know it."

"Of course you don't. Do you know how to get there?"

"No."

Jack sighed loudly and began walking straight ahead.

"Jack! Up here!" A voice called. Jack looked up to see a large owl calling to him.

"Great!" Jack said, apparently disturbed. "Now, I have birds talking to me!" He looked to the sky. "You can wake me up at any time!"

"It appears that the time has finally come for you to start your adventure," the owl said.

"What adventure?" Thor kicked him. "Oh! Yeah, right. _That_ adventure."

"You _will_ encounter many hardships ahead. That is your fate. Don't feel discouraged, even in the toughest of times," the owl continued.

"Easy for you to say," Jack muttered. _You can take the reins at any time now,_ Jack silently told Thor. When he didn't, Jack asked. "You know, how we can get to—" he stopped. He didn't even know where he was supposed to be going. He cursed his wandering mind, assuring himself that the Great Hammond Tree had probably told him where to go.

"Go straight this way and you will see Hyrule Castle. You will meet a princess there."

"Straight this way?" Jack asked, pointing straight ahead.

"Alright! I'll see you around!" The bird said, spreading its wings. "hoot hoot hoo."

"Well, this sucks," Jack said, as the bird flew off.

"Indeed."

"You know, he was more help in the last five minutes than you've been since we met?"

"Do you _have_ to be condescending?"

"It comes naturally," Jack retorted, continuing to walk. "It'd be nice if we had some kind of vehicle."

"Vehicle?"

"Yeah, like a car, a motorcycle, four-wheeler, hell, I'd settle for a bike."

"Maybe you should rest," Thor said, as though Jack jumped off the deep end.

"Let's see how far we can get," Jack said. They continued to walk until sundown, when Jack finally was ready to call it a day. "Aren't you glad I brought the tent?" He smirked, as he used a match to light a fire. Thor glared.

"What will we do for food, Jack?" Thor threw back.

"I brought some. I don't know if it'll be any good..." he said, getting some of the food out.

After they ate, Jack decided it would be better for them to go to sleep early in order to get a decent start in the morning.

Not more than a couple of hours after dark, there was some rustling outside.

"Jack!"

"Can it!" Jack snapped. He was exhausted and didn't want to hear what the little twerp had to say.

"Jack, I think you'd better take a look outside."

"I'm sleeping. You do it."

"You're the one with the weapons!" Jack rolled over and glared. He was awake now anyway.

"Fine!" He snapped. He got up and went outside the tent. "I don't see any—holy crap!" he said, barely dodging an attacking skeleton. "Give me my sword!" He said dodging another swing. Thor hopped on his sled and flew the sword to Jack, dropping it in his hands.

Jack fought back and eventually defeated his foes. He shot Thor a glare. They went back in their tent.

"The sun will be coming up in about an hour," Thor said. "You could probably go back to sleep."

"Oh sure, _now_ you care about my sleep! Now, that I've defeated you're boogyman!" He sighed. "We may as well pack it up, eat, and get a move on it. I can't get back to sleep after that."

They packed everything up before they ate. When they finished, they began to head toward the castle the talking owl told them about. They arrived just in time for the drawbridge to come down.

"Let's go," Jack said, crossing the bridge. Thor followed silently. They entered the little town. "Where are we? I thought we were going into a castle."

"This is Hyrule Castle Town, Jack."

"Okay. Where's the castle?"

"Ask someone."

"You do it. I'm going to see if I can find someone to trade with."

"What are you going to trade, Jack? We need everything we have."

"Not everything," He said, hinting at Thor.

"You can't trade me!"

"Go get directions. I'm gonna look around the shops and see if we can find anything useful," he said, walking away from Thor. "Meet back here in an hour."

They went their separate ways. Jack made his way around the town. There was a young couple dancing in the square, several kids were running all over the place.

"Where's Daniel when you need him?" he cursed. He continued to walk until he ran into a young lady.

"I'm sorry!" He said.

"It's okay," she smiled. "Your clothes. They're different. You're not from around here are you?"

"Not exactly," he grimaced.

"Oh! You're a fairy boy from the forest! My name is Sha're. My father owns Lon Lon Ranch."

"Jack."

"Dad went to the castle to deliver some milk, and he hasn't come back yet."

"That…sucks…I think. Anyway, you wouldn't be able to give me directions, would you?"

She smiled as she gave him some directions to the castle. He thanked her, and went to meet Thor.

"Jack, I've been looking everywhere for you!" Thor said, as he made his way back to the square.

"I don't care. Come on, I got directions." He led the way out of Hyrule Castle Town.

"Hey, Jack! Look up here!" Jack looked up to find the talking owl waiting for him. He sighed as the bird continued to talk to him._ Anytime now, you can get out of my system…anytime._ Why'd he take that Benadryl, again?

When the bird flew off, he continued on his way. He shook his head and began to round the corner. He looked and saw Kasuf standing there.

"So, you're seriously going to the castle, Fairy Boy?" she asked.

"My name is Jack and yeah."

"Could you find my dad for me? He must have fallen asleep somewhere around there. What a thing for an adult to do," she chuckled.

"Uh, sure," Jack said.

"Thanks. If you find him, I'll give this to you. I've been incubating it," she said, holding out an egg.

"Uh, thanks," he said, taking the weird egg. He handed the egg to Thor and made his way to the gate.

"Hey," Jack said, to the guard. "So, this is going to sound _nuts_ but it's true. You see, I was sent by a talking tree to come to talk to a princess and apparently it's like life altering whether I get to see her or not, so…you think you could do a brother a favor?" He asked, hoping that would get him some kind of favor.

"So, you say you want to see Princess Samantha, eh?" The guard said. "You probably just heard about her in town and decided you had to meet her. Well, go home! Get out of here! The princess would never see the likes of you!"

"Considering, I'm her CO, I beg to differ!" Jack argued.

"Move it kid!" the guard barked.

"Asshole!" he yelled as he went complied.

"Jack! What are you doing?"

"Going home!"

"Jack, we have to meet the princess! The Great Hammond Tree requested it!"

"You honestly think I give a damn?"

"Well, considering that our land is at stake…YES!"

"Correction: _your _land!"

"Jack!"

"Fine! We'll have to figure out another way in."

"Sneak inside the palace? Jack, no one's ever done that before."

"Well, I've never worn a dress or a floppy hat before, so there's a first time for everything."

"For the last time, it's a tunic!"

"Whatever." Jack began to look around for some other way in. He spotted some vines where Sha're had been standing. He began to climb up the wall. When he got to the top he spotted the bricks siding on the gate. Jack shot Thor a victorious grin and made his way.

"Careful, Jack!" Thor whispered. "If we get caught—"

"We won't. I'm black ops."

"I don't know what that means, but it doesn't sound very reassuring!" Jack ran to the gate and climbed down a ladder into the a small room inside the wall.

"Told you it was a piece of cake," he shrugged.

"That part was, but Jack, we have to get all the way into the castle without getting caught. You barely made it past the gate!"

"I'll get us in. Don't worry about it. You stick to being the sidekick and let me be the hero, k?"

Thor glared, but stayed silent. Jack barely made his way past the guards without getting caught. They hid in a small ditch and watched the entrance to the castle, which was completely guarded.

"Know any other ways in?" Jack asked.

"Yeah, Jack we can just use the back door," Thor said, sarcastically. Jack grinned. It was nice to know that he was rubbing off on the little guy. "Jack this isn't funny. We have to find a way in or we're in big trouble!"

"Relax. I got us this far." He looked around for any possible way in. He found a small rock wall and looked around the surrounding area. No guards. "If I can climb that, I think we may get in the back door," he grinned. He made his way to the rock wall and climbed up. Suddenly, he fell down a small cliff and laded on the cement surrounding the moat.

"Maybe not," he said. He looked up and quickly moved to avoid being seen by the guard a few hundred feet away. The sun was starting to come back up. "Maybe I can swim around him without him noticing." Jack suggested.

"In the moat? That's kind of gross, Jack."

"I don't see another way around, do you?" Thor was quiet. "Didn't think so." Jack reluctantly slid into the moat. The water was freezing, but his plan worked. He swam to the other side. He looked around. There were several milk crates and a body lying next to them. Jack ran over to the guy.

"Hey, Jack! The weird egg was a chicken!" Thor announced.

"He's alive. Hey, buddy," Jack said, kicking him slightly. The guy didn't budge. "Um, dude?" He still didn't budge. "Give me the chicken."

"Jack, that's rude."

"Ever hear of an alarm clock?"

"No."

"You're about to. Give me the chicken." Thor handed it over reluctantly. As soon as he got the chicken in his hands, Jack pulled on some feathers to make it freak out.

"What in tarnation?!" The guy asked. Jack noticed he held a vague resemblance to Landry. "Can't a person get a little shut-eye around here?" He noticed Jack was standing before him. "Hello. Who might you be?"

"Name's Jack. You Kasuf?"

"Yep, I'm Kasuf. Owner of Lon Lon Ranch." He chuckled. "I went to the castle to deliver some milk, but sat down to rest and I guess I fell asleep."

"Well, your daughter's looking for you."

"What?! Sha're is looking for me? Oh I'm going to hear it from her now!" The guy said. With that he ran off.

"Okay then," Jack said. He looked around for a way to get into the castle. He tried the door, but it was locked.

"Jack, I believe that if we—"

"If you have some idea that you're about to tell that I'm not gonna like…I'm drowning you in the moat."

"I believe," Thor continued, ignoring Jack's comment, "if you stack the boxed there, you can jump over and climb in through there," he said pointing to a small hole in the wall.

Jack tackled Thor into the water. "Jack! You're wasting time!" He protested between gasps. Glad stopped, realizing he was right. The sooner he saved the day, the sooner he could get out of this _nightmare_!

He climbed out of the water and took Thor's advice. The next thing he knew, he was inside the castle courtyard.

He dodged behind the millionth wall.

"You're so lucky I was in Black Ops!" He whispered harshly to Thor. "This is the most guarded courtyard I've ever been to!" They finally made their way past

all of the guards. He saw a girl in a white dress staring into a window.

"That's her," Thor whispered.

"Thank God!" Jack grumbled. He approached the girl. She turned around and gasped. His jaw dropped when Sam turned around.

"Who? Who are you? How did you past the guards?" she asked.

"Jack, and Black Ops training," he said, still in awe that she was actually in a dress and damn she looked good!

"What's that?" She asked, noting to Thor.

"A pain in the ass," he shrugged as she continued.

"Is that…an Asgard?" She studied him. "Then are you…are you from the forest?"

"Actually, I'm from Minnesota, but I guess I'm from the forest."

"Then…then, you wouldn't happen to have the Spiritual Stone of the Forest?; the green, shiny stone."

"You mean this?" he asked taking it out of his pocket. He found it ironic that she would be asking about it and he thought it'd be a great gift for her birthday.

"I had a dream—"

"So, did Martin Luther King,." They stared at him blankly. "I'm sorry. I can't help myself sometimes. Continue."

"In the dream, dark storm clouds were billowing over the land of Hyrule, but suddenly a ray of light, shot out of the forest, parted the clouds, and lit up the ground. The light turned into a figure holding a green and shining stone, followed by an Asgard." She looked him in the eye and added, "I know this is a prophecy that someone would come from the forest."

"And you think it's me?"

"Yes." A light bulb suddenly went off in her head. "Oh! I'm sorry! I got carried away with my story and didn't even properly introduce myself! I am Samantha, Princess of Hyrule. What did you say your name was?"

"Jack."

"Strange…it sounds somehow…familiar." The next thing he knew she was telling him a story that he really wasn't listening to. The thought of Sam in a dress, was way too crazy! She led him to the window. "Can you see the man with the evil eyes?"

"You talkin' bout the big guy with the crazy hair?"

"Jack!" Thor growled quietly.

"Yeah, I see him."

"That is Apophis, leader of the Goa'uld. They hail from the desert to the far west. Though he swears his allegiance to my father, I don't think he's sincere."

"The usually aren't," he muttered under his breath.

"The dark clouds that covered Hyrule in my dream…they must symbolize that man!"

Now, they were wrapped up in a conversation about her father and her dream. He really didn't want to do this. He dreaded the thought of having to keep this going any longer than it already had. He thought that it would end with the Princess, but no! He still found himself being forced to save the day in his stupid dress!

She continued spouting off a plan to save the land of Hyrule from Apophis. Whether he liked it or not, he was going to have to find the other two "spiritual stones" she was talking about.

"Take this letter with you," she said, jotting something down on a piece of paper. "I'm sure it will help you."

He began to make his way back the way he came, but a woman was blocking his path.

"Crap," she sighed. He stopped in front of her.

"I am Jolinar of the Tok'ra. I am responsible for protecting Princess Samantha. Everything is exactly as the princess has foretold."

"Okay," Jack said, hoping that would be the end of it. But, as usual, it wasn't. The next thing he knew, Jolinar was teaching him how to play a song on the ocarina that Janet had given him. She led him out of the castle.

"Take a good look at that mountain," she said, pointing to a mountain in the distance. "That is Death Mountain, home of the Jaffa. They have the Spiritual Stone of Fire. At the foot of the mountain, you will find my village. Kakariko Village. You should talk to some of the villagers there before you go up the mountain."

The next thing he knew, she was gone.

"This just keeps getting crazier and crazier," he sighed.

He made his way to the village. They decided to spend the night there before going up the mountain.


	5. Death MountainGoron CityLost Woods

_Hey everyone! I'm sorry this took FOREVER! I've been crazy busy. I hope you enjoy this installment of the story. The next chappy should be up pretty soon I'm about 1/3 of the way thru it. (and remember I am playing the game while I write lol...literally I have both open, project64 and Word lol.) anyhoo! let me know what you think. _

**Chapter Five: Death Mountain Trail/ **Jaffa** City/ Lost Woods**

"I think we should probably go back and get the shield that the guard recommended," Thor said, as they prepared to leave. "This is an active volcano after all."

"Thor, the guy made fun us," Jack said. "He's lucky I didn't sock him in face, like I did Feretti."

"Jack, the guard was twice your height. Not to mention he was wearing armor."

"You sound too much like Daniel," Jack muttered.

"Who's Daniel?"

"Forget it." He sighed. "If we go back to the Castle Town, we'll only be three more steps behind in this great quest," he said, putting air quotes around "great quest". He thought for a moment. "Fine. It's only a forty-five minute walk anyway," he said sarcastically.

The trip to Hyrule Castle Town was a long and silent one. Jack really did not want to go and it was obvious. He attempted to navigate his way to the Bazaar.

He walked to the shields and grabbed one. It was way too big for him and it was heavy. He turned to Thor.

"I'm not even going to able to use this thing. Why should I spend the money on it?"

"Because we're going into a volcano and your Kokiri shield will burn to crisp," he said. "You can always put it on your back and duck."

Jack picked it up and drug it to the counter.

"The Hylian shield is my best seller," the owner said, "It might be a little big for you kid."

"Well, the guard at the Death Mountain gate told me about this place and that I should pick it up," he shrugged taking some rupees from Thor.

"You heard about us from the guard at the Death Mountain gate?" He perked up. "Well, I have to give you a good deal then!" He rang up the shield.

Jack exited the store after paying and proceeded to make his way back to the mountain.

"You get to carry this," he said. "I have to do the dirty work, you get to be the bat boy."

"Bat boy?"

"Yeah. Rookie. Baseball. Bat boy."

"I don't understand half of what comes out of your mouth, you know that."

"Welcome to _my_ world. I don't understand anything anyone says half of the time."

"Do you think we should pick up that mask for the guard?"

"No."

"Jack," he said in a freakishly Daniel Jackson guilt-trip manner.

"Fine!" He made his way to the mask shop to pick up the mask for the guard.

"I can't believe you made me go in there with that fruit loop," Jack said as they exited the shop. "Sell all the masks and you'll be happy yourself," he mocked in a condescending tone.

"Well, at least you'll make some little kid out there happy." Jack rolled his eyes. They made their way back the mountain.

"You should put the mask on," Thor suggested.

"No!"

"Oh come on. It'll be funny to see his reaction. He's going to be thrilled."

"Not happening."

"Fine, but it would be funny to see his reaction."

"No!" Jack began to walk up the stairs leading up to the mountain gate. Thor's silence bothered Jack. It was freaky. "Fine!" He put the mask on. He felt like an idiot. He walked up to the guard. "Hey."

The guard cracked up. "Do you think you're in disguise, Mr. Hero?" He paused. "Oh? Is that the 'Kee…something' character mask? I've heard he's very popular recently. He's my boy's favorite. If you don't mind…will you sell it to me?"

"Yeah," Jack shrugged. The guy handed Jack fifteen Rupees.

"My boy will be very happy with this! You really are Mr. Hero!"

Jack and Thor proceeded up the mountain.

"Don't you think we should go to the mask shop and pay the owner?" Thor asked.

"If we don't burn to a crisp, or die in any other way for that matter, then we will. If not, we can't pay it back if we're dead."

"That's not a very good attitude."

"I got thrown into this. I didn't ask _or_ volunteer for it," he retorted.

They walked up the mountain until they came to large cave-like place.

"Where are we?" Jack asked.

"Let's go in and find out."

"Thor, you drug me through a tree and I fought monsters in a tree. I'm not going in any place that you don't know."

"Well, it's in a cave. How bad can things go?"

"With you?" Jack said, surprised that he would even dare ask something like that. "You never know!" He let out an exasperated sigh and walked into the cave. He looked around. It was a city. "Where are we?"

"Jaffa City."

They made their way down to the main level.

"Everything is closed," Jack observed. "Congratulations, Thor. You've just wasted my time."

"That one Jaffa said something about a place called Dodongo's Cavern."

"The guy was fruitcake and complained about being hungry for rocks," Jack retorted.

"Maybe we should go to the Cavern."

"Maybe not. We should speak with the Jaffa in charge."

"Hey, Jack check this out!"

"What?"

"It's the symbol for the royal family!"

"So?"

"Do you remember what Jolinar said?"

"No."

"Play the song she taught you," Thor insisted.

"What song?"

"Samantha's Lullaby. The song that will help prove your connection to the Royal Family."

"I don't remember it."

"Lucky for you, I wrote it down!" He showed Jack the notes. He pulled out the Ocarina that Janet had given him and played it. Suddenly, the door opened up.

"Maybe, I should practice playing that song," Jack thought aloud. He entered the room. He stopped in his tracks when the Jaffa in charge turned around to reveal the face of Teal'c. Jack thought he was going to die of laughter.

He went up, after regaining his composure, to talk to "Teal'c".

"Hey Bro," he said.

"What the heck?! Who are you?" he seemed irked. "When I heard the song of the Royal Family I thought their messenger had arrived, but…you're just a little kid!"

"Okay, you're yellow, what else ya got?" Jack challenged.

"Jack!" Thor hissed in his ear.

"Has Teal'c, the Big Boss of the Jaffas really lost so much status to be treated like this by his sworn brother, the King?"

"Okay, _first_ _of all_, I am _not_ a little kid, despite appearances, second—"

"Jack!"

"Can it, Thor!"

"Now, I'm _really_ angry! Get out of my face now!"

"What's your problem?" Jack demanded.

"This is a Jaffa problem! We don't need any help from strangers!"

"Damn, Jaffa ego!" Jack said, as they exited the room.

"He's a Jaffa, Jack."

"Shut it, Zippy!" He sighed in an obvious frustration. "Now, what are we supposed to do?!"

"Well, we could look around the city and see if we can find Dodongo's Cavern. That's where the Jaffa at the entrance said the Stone was."

"Okay," Jack sighed. Let's find this Stone so we can get out of here."

They walked aimlessly around the small city, finding nothing.

"Jack, do you hear that music?"

"I'm not hallucinating," Jack said. "I think it's coming from over here." They walked over to an opening that had torches on either side of it. They went through the opening. The music was getting louder.

"It's blocked."

"No shit, Sherlock," Jack retorted.

"Maybe if we light these Bomb Flowers,--," Jack cut him off.

"No! You're talking about blowing things up! I'm not going to let people get hurt."

"It will only be a small explosion, but the force will be enough to blow out these boulders," Thor tried again. "No one will get hurt."

"I've been a soldier since I was eighteen. I have yet to see a bomb that doesn't hurt people."

"Trust me, Jack! You could be passing up the Spiritual Stone of Fire! We need to get that for Princess Samantha!" Jack smirked at the remark. "What?"

"Just picturing Sam as a princess," he chuckled. Man, was that a mental image.

"Jaaaccckk!" Thor griped, pulling him back to the task at hand.

"Fine! We'll blow up the boulders! But, if someone gets hurt, I'm blowing _you_ up!"

"You can't blow me up! You need me!"

"No, _you_ need _me_ to save your precious Hyrule from Gothic Sir Lancelot."

"It's Apophis, Jack, not Sir Lancelot."

"Whatever." He paused for a minute, before adding. "How are we supposed to light the bombs off?"

"Light one of your sticks from the torch and toss it on the bombs." Jack rolled his eyes and did as he was told. He looked around. No one was hurt. No one even seemed to notice the explosion. He shrugged. "Let's go check it out."

Jack and Thor made their way through the opening.

"Where are we?" Jack asked, noting that they most certainly were not in the Jaffa City anymore.

"The Lost Woods," Thor responded.

"How do you know that?"

"There's a sign over there," Thor said, pointing to a small sign with writing Jack couldn't read.

"Right," he said. They began to roam around. "Well, they don't call it the Lost Woods for nothing," he muttered after about an hour of wandering the woods.

"Why do you say that?"

"We're lost."

"No we're not."

"Then where are we?" Thor thought for a moment.

"We're lost," he agreed, finally.

"Hey! Over here! Hoo hoo!" Jack looked around, finally spotting the 'Jacob-Owl'.

"Jacob! Maybe you can be of some help! We're completely lost."

"After going through the Lost Woods, you will come upon the Sacred Forest Meadow. That is a sacred place where few people have ever walked."

"Sounds like Daniel's kind of place," Jack muttered.

"Shhh…" Jacob said. "What's that? I can hear a mysterious tune."

"It's goog to know I'm not going crazy."

"If you are courageous, you will make it through the forest just fine. Just follow your ears." After that, he flew off.

Jack looked over to Thor, "It's amazing how he's so helpful, but before I can ask questions, he leaves."

They stopped in a section of the forest with a gate.

"So, I'm going to venture a guess that it's beyond the gate," Jack said. "How do we open it?" They walked a little forward when a wolf jumped out at them. Jack drew his sword. He began to fight the beast.

"Jack, duck!"

"I'm not worried about a duck, I'm worried about the wolf that's larger than I am!"

"No, I mean DUCK!"

"What?! No way. He'll kill me!"

"Trust me!"

"Thor!"

"Just do it!" Jack reluctantly bent over. The wolf struck him, but only hit his shield. "That's what I thought!" He heard Thor say. He didn't need Thor to explain. He knew exactly how he was going to defend himself on the mountain.

After he defeated his foe, the gate automatically opened up. He entered it.

"Oh great!" He sighed. "I hate mazes! I lose money when mazes are involved." He got a spark of genius. "You take your little floaty chair and fly above me, you can direct me through the maze."

"That's cheating, Jack."

"Who cares? No one's out here, but little nut spitting shrubs and us. DO IT!" Thor reluctantly obeyed.

They'd finally managed to get through the maze and walked a long stretch before climbing a large flight of stairs, leading to another portion of the forest.

Sitting before him on a stump was Janet. He smiled. Man, he missed her. She was playing an ocarina.

"I've been waiting for you, Jack!"

"You have?"

"This is the Sacred Forest Meadow. It's my secret place! I feel…" she paused. "This place will be very important for both of us someday."

"Yeah…" he wasn't entirely sure how to respond to that, so he let her do most of the talking.

"If you play the Ocarina here, you can talk with the spirits of the forest." Her face lit up. "Would you like to play the Ocarina with me?"

"I don't know anything."

"I'll teach you. I play this when I'm alone," she smiled. She began to teach him to play her song on his Ocarina. When the song was finished, she congratulated him. "Great! Great!"

"You've learned Janet's song, Jack! Congratulations!" Thor said, excitedly.

"Sweet." He wasn't as enthusiastic as the others. He just wanted to wake up. Anytime now…

"Jack, we need to go," Thor whispered after awhile. They said their good-byes and made their way back to Jaffa City.

"So," Thor said, after they'd been roaming the city for awhie.

"So?"

"I was just thinking something. You know how Teal'c said he was in a bad mood?"

"Yeah. Well, maybe we should go play him a song!"

"You're an idiot. I'm not playing my flute thing for Teal'c."

"You never know, that snappy beat could put him in a better mood. It did me."

Jack growled in frustration before conceding. He hated Thor.

He went back to Teal'c chamber and after a little bit of discussion, he began to play the new song. Suddenly, Teal'c began dancing like crazy, which made Jack roll on the floor laughing.

"What a hot beat!" Teal'c said. "Hey, what a nice tune! Just like that, my depression is all gone! Something just came over me! I suddenly just wanted to dance like crazy."

"You don't say," Jack said, sarcastically.

"I am Teal'c. I am the Big Boss of the Jaffas! Was there something you wanted to ask me about?"

"Yeah, see I'm looking for this red rock that my little buddy here calls the Spiritual Stone of Fire. We need it to, and I know this is going to sound completely insane, save the world."

"You want the Spiritual Stone of Fire, too?"

"Too?" he shot Thor a look.

"The Spiritual Stone of Fire, also known as the Jaffa's Ruby, is our race's hidden treasure…"

"Yeah, well, we need it to save the day so I can wake up."

"Jack!" Thor scolded.

"Can it!"

"Hold on. I'm not going to give it to you so easily."

"Dang."

"If you want it so badly why don't you go destroy the monsters in Dodongo's Cavern and prove you're a real man?"

"Real man? You want to talk about being a real man?!" Jack said, starting to get steamy.

"Jack!" Thor pleaded. They last thing they needed was this Teal'c character crushing Jack.

"That way everyone will be happy again. If you do it, I'll give you anything you want."

"Anything?"

"Even the Spiritual Stone of Fire." Jack shot Thor a skeptical look. "I have something for you. I'm not really giving you this in return for anything, but take it anyway." He handed Jack a bracelet. "If you wear it, even a little fella like you can pick up a Bomb Flower."

"Uh, thanks," Jack said. He looked to Thor and sighed, saying, "I guess we have some monsters to beat." They left the chamber and he turned back to Thor. "So, where is this Dodongo's Cavern?"

"I'm pretty sure we'll need to look around for it."

"No kidding. You have a general idea?"

"No." Jack sighed. They roamed about anyway. They exited the city.

"Hey, why don't we just ask him," Thor said, pointing to a Jaffa, lying on the ground just outside the city.

Jack walked over. He figured the guy would know, versus try to even argue with Thor about this.

"Hey, bud," Jack said, beginning the conversation. The Jaffa jumped up. "What's up?"

"I'm over here to shade the Bomb Flowers from the sun."

"Smart idea. Hey, can you tell me where Dodongo's Cavern is?"

"Did you see that cavern on your way up here?"

"Yes," Thor said.

"That's Dodongo's Cavern."

"Jack, it's all blocked off." Jack looked over the edge that Thor was looking over.

"What if we use our special Bomb Flower powers and blow it open?" Before Thor could say anything, Jack picked up a Bomb Flower and tossed it over the edge. Sure enough, it blew open the cavern.

They made their way down the mountain and to the cavern. Jack stood outside, merely looking in the long tunnel.

"Are you ready?" Thor asked.

"Why not?" Jack said. "Can't be any worse than the tree."

_A/N2: The next chappy will be better than this. I promise! lol. I'll be able to focus more. :) Have a fantastic day!_


	6. Author's Note

Hey guys!

I just wanted to let you know that I haven't forgotten this story, nor have I abandoned it. I'm being forced to hit the pause button for a little bit. I just wanted you guys to know that this is officially on hiatus and I _will_ return to it as soon as I can.

Thank you so much for reading and I hope that you'll continue to read it!

Have a great day! Thank you so much!

Cat (Crime-Fights-Evil-With-Batman)


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